How To Stay Balanced

Jenga

I am often referred to as the woman who does it all. People ask me how I balance everything I have going on in my life: my daughter and her activities, a positive marriage, work, garden, small-scale farming, exercise, art, our dedication to maintaining a sustainable lifestyle, a clean home, a blog, and so on. The answer is, I don't. Not really.

Do I have advice?

Just like everyone else, I constantly revisit my sense of balance. I ask myself, "Right this very minute, do I feel sane or out of control?" If my answer is the latter, I consider three questions:

1. How can I prioritize?
2. Did I secure my oxygen mask?
3. Am I being consistent?

How can I prioritize?

I tend to be a "yes" person. If someone asks me to assist with a project, I generally say "yes". I enjoy being an active member of our community. Yet, if I accomplish everything with poor quality, what's the point?  Therefore, with each "yes", I ask myself how the project would integrate with the other things going on in my life. Does it make sense in the greater scheme of things? How will I, my family and our community benefit from my participation? If the answer is unclear, then consider saying "no".

Did I secure my oxygen mask?
If you've ever flown on a commercial airliner, you probably remember how, just before takeoff, the airline attendant stood in the aisle and reviewed the flight safety instructions, demonstrating how to fasten a seat belt, how to use an oxygen mask, and pointing to the aircraft's emergency exits. When considering your oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to make sure their masks are on first before assisting other passengers or children.

So? The question is: how can I be a positive role model if I am not first nurturing my own needs? Breathe.

One day several years ago, when driving home to the Methow Valley from Seattle, I was apparently in a very bad mood, my tolerance minimal. I planned to take a run when we got home, but was increasingly anxious that time was limited. Twelve miles from home, Derek pulled over to the side of Washington Pass, instructed me to get out of the car, and drove off. Initially, I was furious. However, as I ran home along the picturesque river, my mood lifted. I walked into the house ready to positively interact with my family, to find the table already set with a delicious dinner.

Breathe.

Am I being consistent?
I strongly believe that we will maintain balance if we tackle things in our lives frequently yet in moderation. Adults can drink wine daily, in moderation. Women can hot tub regularly during pregnancy, in moderation. My home will remain tidy if we organize/clean habitually, in moderation. Our bodies will remain well toned if we exercise often, in moderation.

What does that mean? It means that it's essential to follow through with our priorities in a consistent (not obsessive, and not compulsive) manner. Shower our children with love consistently. Sit down to communicate with our partners regularly, not just on date nights. Eat nutritious meals and exercise every day.

I tackle one - just one - blogging project per day to ensure that it never becomes overwhelming. If I don't have time to exercise after work, I commute by bike or take my dog with me to work to prioritize an afternoon walk. Throughout the summer months, I weed my garden just a little each morning when feeding the animals. If any one thing seems to be slipping from my grasp, I return to my three questions.

I am certainly not perfect. In fact, I must periodically remind myself to take my own advice.

Breathe.